Life. It [Continues]

Well this is it for 2008.
It's been a quiet year on the blogging front for me.
We'll see how 2009 goes. I may do better. But if not, know that yes, I am INDEED still alive. I am indeed still making peanut butter sandwiches without the tainting taste of jelly, and I am indeed and forever always thinking about the strange ways in which socks always come out of the dryer in odd numbers.
Adios y vaya con dios dos mil y ocho.

I'll see you in the net archives.
Forever and ever,
And ever and ever,
-Ryan

What's right is I'm drinking coffee. I finished my speech and I'm listening to some quality music.
What's not right?
I need some artistic writer friends in my life.
This apartment sometimes is way too left brained for me. There needs some right sided creativity up in this joint.

On another note, I got the bagillionth 88% of my life. This time was on my first graded speech.
That number defines my life, everything I do. It all comes back to 88. And look at it. It's such an average number, 2 steps away from being an A. Never quite there. Always consistent but never special. Yep. I identify with a number. (But that's not an engineering thing rubbing off on me. I swear)

So the speech went well. I didn't pee too much down my leg. Nobody came in underwear. My voice never cracked. The teacher said it was a good first speech. So I'll take it. Would've preferred at least a 90, but what can you do? Abbsollutelly noothingg. Ugh. (That's what it's good for) I guess.

Finally this weekend is coming up. As I've been saying and people just don't seem to get, my life will be complete after this concert. To them, Mraz is just another wanna be John Mayer, singer songwriter esque pop star. But nope. That offends me. If I get started on his appeal, I'll sound even more ridiculous so just trust me. There's more to "You & I Both" than just being a one hit radio leech. There's more to the artist. Remember that. The best of Mraz has never been released on a studio album. That's all I'm trying to say.

Pressing onward..my life is one busy mess. A "beautiful mess," but at least when the weekend comes I can "sleep all day." As for now, I'm eating a slice of "humble [pumpkin] pie" and "worrying my life away." I need a "remedy."

My homework. When in doubt, whip the pencil out......
Better yet, let's just skip the possible innuendo, allow me to turn in my assignment right now, and just give me the gee-darn 88. mmkay?

I don't know where I want to go tonight.
For one, I've got a wicked cold. (Hear it in my voice?)
For another, this weekend has been insanely good/busy/sleepless.
For a third, I'm in a Sufjan state of mind.
For something else, I can go on and on about this chicken cheese steak I ate earlier.
For your sake, I don't want to elaborate on any.
I'm just not feeling good. Don't know why I even made the effort to write.
Actually I take that back. I needed an excuse to sit on my bed with the headphones in and listen to Sufjan. I needed to feel mellowed. I'm all about the mellowed.
I'm also all about getting some sleep.
(Interestingly, I have so much in my head at night...like right now...but I physically can not move it to the keys. It's all backed up, wanting to overflow and come on through but it just can't. Wild...like constipation)
Wild...like my need for repeating sentences.
Wild...like my stupid sense of night humor.

It's the aspirin. I swearz it.

Man I am old.
Have you seen how far down that history stretches on the right hand side?? I never realized how long I've been fanatically typing away my life. Granted, it's not like I do anything terribly important anyway, but I'm pleased with the progress of that "Who I Was" bar.

Anywhoo, I'm doing this 1. out of boredom and 2. because I have nothing better to do and I feel like writing. But that's so much easier done in my head these days.
I like to do THIS sometimes without any purpose in mind other than no purpose. It's gratifying. Especially after expending so much thought on wordpress and putting every phrase down with the utmost precision and practicality. All that takes effort. Too much effort sometimes if you ask me. BUT the hardest things in life are also the most rewarding so in that sense, I have developed a love for the elegance and simplicity of www.omnipossibility.wordpress.com

Mistake as it may have been, the love-child is worth it.
Where else can I spend 45 minutes carefully writing a blog that nobody will read?

I think I may have figured out what I'm doing with my life.
This is going to sound really complicated, but imagine what I went through to get this far.

I have 3 sites.
For reasons mostly stupid, I belong to blogger, livejournal, and now...wordpress.
While I didn't intend to spread myself thinner than a matza, I've ironed it all out now.

Blogger: I can't leave this place. So it's just gonna be the daily, formless, sometimes creative, most times "recapicle," nonsensical blog. And yes. I made up the word "recapicle."

Livejournal: Don't go here. It's downtown Detroit...unless you're a registered friend. Then it's a V.I.P only confessional booth.

WORDPRESS: Okay. Sometimes I like to be creative. And I feel that with blogger, sometimes I try to get artistical and fancy. But when it's mixed in with iphone-ophelia...some of the artistic merit just gets lost.

I'm doing this mainly to right the wrongs of an impulsive clicker finger.
And yeah. I know I could have deleted them but what about all the old posts that I would lose and all the hard work I put into making the site?


Aw who am I kidding????
I'm absolutely thrilled to have a piece of every main blogging site.

So the dark knight the second time today was so much better than the
first. And let's see... I bought spring awakening tickets for the 23
of august onstage. It's been awhile since I saw the show for good
reason. I'm kinda even hesitant for this august.
The show isn't what it once was.
Work tomorrow. Pulp fiction on tv now. Not doing much except writing
on my phone.

Sent from my iPhone

I feel like I'm a new father. Actually, it's not good. This iphone has been the focus of my past 3 days. Is that healthy?
Just last night, I went to put the phone to bed (aka charge it) and found myself googling if it was harmful to charge the battery too much. All of today I find myself going to store to store looking for a cradle (aka docking station). Just 5 minutes ago, I find myself giving it a bath (aka polishing the plastic).
.....
Umm crazy much
.....
Yeah so what do you expect? I wait 2 hard long months for this thing, stand in line for over 2 hours, and find people everywhere clamoring to get them because they're sold out in every at&t and apple store. Not to mention the large sum I paid. I have to go all "over protective parent" on it. One day, my phone will thank me. Just wait. It's gonna come in handy for some crux situation down the road and my iphone will be there for me.
Just like I'm always there for it.

G'night
Sleep tight.

It's just too easy to post to my blog from my phone

So here I am and here's to sharing with the Internet whatever
interesting things I may come across on my daily adventures

Well I got it and I'm trying to post a blog from my phone to see how
it will work. It kinda takes awhile to type but if I keep moving my
fingers it goes better. Basically this is just a test to see how it
works

Sent from my iPhone

Okay wow. I gotta say. "Wanted" is the most badassss movie I've seen in a looonng time.
Reellly reeelly good..in an omg that's so gross I can't believe he just did that sort of way.
So yes. See it.
Cause I feel like it, here's the list of what I've seen so far this summer at the movies (mainly for my own sake, they're in order of when I saw)
-Iron Man
-Indiana Jones
-Sex and the City
-The Hulk
-Wanted
I gotta say, "SATC was a blast but Wanted kept me captivated more than anything else on that list.
Iono..thinkin it might be an early contender for my fav of the season...still want to see Wall-E plus Dark Knight is coming up..banking on the IMAX version of that to boot.

Well, gots work in the a.m. tomorrow. 4th of July. Happy Independence Day!
or not.

AND OH SNAP...In 15 more minutes I can truly say that all my waiting has FINALLY come down to just ONE WEEK until..well..you know ;)
(Starts with an i. Ends with a phone)

This one is inspired by a sudden urge.
It's quite simple actually.
I wish I was cool.
Like not just
"yo wadup"
But more
"hip"
"dry"
"artsy"
and st8up
"witty"

Laugh.
This is a funny subject. I hope it is anyway. And it's not anything to come consoling to be about. I'm perfffecttttly fine with who I am, but every once in awhile..on these rare occasions when I'm listening to Beck, watching Pulp Fiction on tv, and browsing t-shirts on threadless, I kinda sorta wish I could pull off the indie/scene kid look.

Right now, I don't think I look like the kid I feel.
On the inside, I'm rocking the black rimed frames and fauxed red hair.
But right here, in front of my Wong Kar Wai album art, I think something gets mixed up and lost in "bill murray" translation.

Here I am.
I know good taste.
I can write a mean poem that won't involve death.
I said, "peace, love, and happiness" on my last blog.
Coffee?
TANLINES on areas other than the elbows?

Don't it all count for something?
Laugh.
This is funny. Not serious. (I don't expect..nor want.. any words of advise cause this is NOT my head talking right here. No control. I don't even know. Ryan. Has. Left. The Exosphere.) Ready? wurd

So how did this all start..with a shirt..actually a whole lotta shirts. threadless.com why are all you people so hip??
Me: I see a shirt/design I like, think about it, ooh that'd be cool, how would it look, hmmm, not bad, give a turn, check out the mirror, stop, look, turn, stop, examine, hmmm, analyze, oh, wait, stop, errr, turn, look, hmmmm, wait, nah, hmmmm, wellll, nah, click, back, click, facebook, click, back, well, but nah, who needs it, looks stupid, what's it even meann??
click
facebook?
no shirt.
sigghhhhhhh
Stupid shirt.

One day, when I've grown out of my awkward ages, gotten my hair to a length I like, and perfected the art of ambiguity and blueberry nights, I believe every little thing - is gonna be alright. Ya heard. Threadless..i won't need yo nonsense.
But let's not get hasty now.

I LOVE going after styles I may not be able to pull off. Cause why the fdjksjdk not. It's all part of the process and hopefully this "psudo-advice" is the rock that you needed to see come anchoring out of my head and onto solid ground because I swear, I'm on stable docks here and I know what I'm talking about.
It's OKAY for me to do this every once in awhile and just picture myself with a beanie and trimmed beard. (That image stays between me and me though)

In the long run, will I reallllly care if I don't miraculously turn out looking like someone straight out of Juno? Nope. What would I need that look for? Sure, it'd be nice for my exterior to maybe match my interior. But the house will still be standing..The house will always be standing.
no matter what kind of paint job may be going on inside.

Recently, I have just been fascinated by...here's a kicker...writers.
I mean, yeah. I've always kinda innately looked at what stories did and how the action and stuff was told from a young age but I don't think I've ever realized it..until now..how much a story or book or essay has to do perfectly in order to be good.

Like okay. I've been reading these Pendragon books since I was literally in 6th grade. I can distinctly remember writing on a book report thingy the title of the first book that I was just so OBSESSED with for whatever reason.
Actually not for whatever reason.
I loved the way the book was written. And I know..knew that. It was a great story, had a fresh character, and was brand new and original (aka anything that is new and original = "me" bait but that's another topic)

But you see, the series is now on it's 9th book. That's roughly around 7 years since I started. Obviously, the flumes can not hold the same amount of appeal on a 19 year old guy as they did on a 12 year old kid.
As I was reading "Raven Rise," the adult in me picked out tired phrases, overused words, and just plain old average plot elements. But helllo..this is a young adult/kids book we're talking about here. Right?
Why get so critical??
I don't want to get critical, but look. It's a good thing.
Because it means I've grown past the heroic Bobby Pendragon who fights an evil demon and screws up just as badly as every other "hero" who's ever faced with an impossible journey.
(Been there and done that Edith Hamil...errr..Mr. Machale)

SO I did not mean to go off on the writer of my childhood. I simply meant to get AT the point that I love reading stuff like Burroughs, Klosterman, Wolfe, Palahniuk, and Sedaris for the sheer depth and intelligence of their works more than reading D.J. Machale for the 10 minutes of whoop-de-doo.
(If I just made myself sound like some pompous, coffee drinking, ignorant, stupid s.o.b, let me point out with the tip of my outstreched pinky that I am doing nothing more than just reading to pass this loooong summer and to enjoy myself..Not to come wailing to the internet about how totally rad I am because I read books by men with outrageous last names to make me sound smart)

I want to know how these guys do it.
They make it all look so flawless in their memoirs.
Augusten Burroughs..you don't make this stuff up?
Sedaris..you don't have a tape recorder in your head?
I just don't know, but oh yes. They ARE published and accomplised writers
....who both just HAPPEN to be gay.
Do I smell a conspiracy?

jk
peace, love, and happines

What absolutely drives me crazy at my job..and what I have just observed today because I was being observant and bored..is quite simply the kind of people who order coffee.
There's this one "look" that I get on multiple occasions that I don't know how to describe, but when I'm up ringing somebody's order, going through a transaction, and proceeding to give them their money...it happens.
It's this type of eye-contact, real quick and dodgy like they don't want to look at me, but they do..and it feels condescending. Like they're better than me.
Do I not give off enough confidence?
Do I look like I'm that below my job?
Iono.
But it's annoying as all heck.
Not saying it happens every time and all people are A-holes, but there's always that old decaf guy or two who just does not have the politeness technique.

TGI..WIS? (weekend is over)
Well you get the point. Thank God the Weekend is Over.
Good or bad, I now have off until Friday. So I'll either get stuck in that rut of not knowing what to do or end up making stupid stuff to occupy my time.

In even better news, less than 2 weeks until my miracle phone.
After that, what's there going to be to look forward to?
Beach house...check
Paychecks...gonna need em
Hot days...build that tan up

For now, I need my pillow like Winehouse needs crack.

TRUE LIFE
"I Heart Skinny White Kids with Gangster Rhymes and Witty Lyrics: I Need Somebody to Pull Me Out of this Slump"

You see first it was Jason Mraz I fixated on cause that cracker sure does know how to rhyme.
But RECENTLY I have discovered an online sensation who is soon to be blowing up in the comedy and hopefully musical world.
I'm talking about the one and only Mr. Bo Burnham.

But why has he pulled me ever so slightly away from Mraz?
Well it's hard to explain.
And when I try to put into words and writing what it is he says...it just doesn't look right or even give any justice to his brilliance.

So I'll show with the the kinda cleanest one I could find:


I mean c'mon. Just about everything he says comes with a 2 second delay after which the seemingly innocuous rhyme suddenly takes on a hilarious double meaning.
You can't help but laugh.
I was literally sitting here in my room "lol"ing, "lmao"ing, and "rofl"ing all OVER my computer on his other videos which were way too dangerous to post but so smart that I literally watched 3 times before I understood some of the jokes.

(5 bucks if you can catch it all the first time around on one of my personal favorites.)
Who else could honestly think up the bit about logs??
Brill-iant

The kid's gonna be big soon. I can feel it.
And he's just soo gosh darn quotable.

"and squarin' numbers are just like women..if they're under 13 just do em in your head."

Nah. Did that really just come out of his mouth?!
Oh yess it did.
And it's hilarious.
Bo Burnham...you complete my inner G

Final Word of Advice:
Check out all his stints here but don't say I didn't warn you.
(He may be a tad filthy mom and dad)

In the words of Andrew Largeman,

"Remember that idea I had about working stuff out on my own...yeah it's dumb.
It's dumb.
It's an awful idea. I'm not gonna do it okay?
Cause like you said, this is it..[and I'm staying with my blog]"

Basically, I just got off my flight to livejournal.
And basically, I'm a dork who knows no better way to put it than to compare it to the movie/soundtrack of my life.
(He never said that last part, but I'm pretty sure it's what Zach actually meant to say)

So this is it.
I'm not gonna scatter between two sites even though I still really like my layout and junk over there. I'll figure something out.

Oooooooooooookay.
*twiddling thumbs*
Now what do we do?
What do we do?

I never forgot about my blog.
I just got wrapped up in life. Gee whaddayaknow.
So I've decided I'm gonna take the summer off from here. I'll probably come back once school starts again, but in the meantime, I'm just going to live summer, make some really awesome memories, and just be Ryan.

BUT
BUT
BUT
if you're reallllly devoted, and I mean like you're some freakish stalker out there behind your screen right now silently rejoicing in this revelation that I am about to make, well I'll pray for you.

So here it is: I'm going back to Livejournal

I know. I know.
It's like I'm describing some whacked relationship and I...always the optimist...have chosen to return to my former lover in hopes of rekindling something we once had. But then you think about it and it's all like, well...I thought he was talking about a blog here?

You right.
I AM just talking about a BLOG.
But it's also my life and it's a life that I must continue with the same amount of seriousness that I would show to my long lost lover.

...If you know me, you should be laughing right now

This is a test.
Not for you. For me.
I need to be writing about myself right now, but unfortunately this blog will have no effect on my creative nonfiction collage piece due Monday. I'm stuck.
I don't know how I want to write it or in what direction to take it and it's the worst feeling the world when I can't get started writing something.
This weekend is going to be rough with a research paper AND this piece.
What am I going to do except complain and put them off????

A once in a lifetime experience occurred today.
This is big.
Like the penultimate crux of my existence.
Like the most exciting thing since I imagined putting peanut butter on matzo.
Like getting a 96 on a math quiz.

Ya heard me.
I got a 90freaking6 on a math quiz.
You know what that did for me? It brought my quiz grade average to a 77! Helllllz ya!
SO NOW I can easily pull off a B in the class because all my other tests are A's and I'm planning on NOT bombing the final.
Ah. sweet sweet 96. For the first time in room 107, I actually felt like a smart student. That's such a rarity in my life. And here's the kicker.
I walked out after taking the quiz a week ago saying how bad of an F I just left on the paper.
Love how that works.

I swear my life isn't made up of grades, but let me just say I've been on a roll lately.
French test back today = 93.
Creative Writing short story back today = 18/20
(Not to mention the good feedback I got from writing a spur of the moment, 10 sentence arrangement about my body pillow, which I happen to like)

It was a good day. I'm feeling accomplished.

The things I do to get Spring Awakening tickets.
It almost didn't even pay off today. And I was like..no. I'm not gonna go all crazy to get stage seats for Groff and Lea's last day on May 18th.
Why? - - Because.
sighhhhh
WELLL if "because" was the answer then I wouldn't have been camped in my computer chair for roughly six hours off and on waiting for the tickets to go up. It ain't easy giving up on Spring Awakening.
When they did go around 6:07 p.m, I was about to give up and come back to school. Good thing I decided to check (like I had done 6784 times before but to no avail)
I didn't get the May 18th stage but it's alright. I don't believe anybody but V.I.Ps did. Apparently I'm not V.I.P enough so I had to settle for May 11th evening...the weekend before their last.
It's whateva.
I'm cool with it.
At least it's something.
I'd have hated to have my whole day go to waste. And I like the seat I got..always wanted BB11.

In other news, I am o.v.e.r. school. (And that is O space V space E space R)
This week shall be grueling, but once it's OVER most of my hard work should be outta the way.
Honestly, raise yo hand if u even curr.
Cuz nah son.
I'm duunnn.

...
Ok. So maybe I talk a big game.
And sometimes I pretend I'm thug.

There's nothing like waking up slightly frazzled.
I say slightly cause my alarm went off to wake me up at 5:45, but my computer never turned itself on. I mean c'mon...is it too much to ask that my mac wakes up on its own without me every once in awhile? jeeeez, technology these days.
hah I kid, I kid.
It was my fault.
So the registration opened at 5:45 on the dot, but I still missed getting two of the classes I wanted. I honestly thought I could at least get Shakespeare, but alas, I did not.
After an hour though and some tough compromises including a lab that I was putting off until God knows when...I managed to get a schedule I'm happy with.

I am taking: (in no particular order)
-Religion in America
-Modern Art
-Anatomy and Physiology (booo)
-Intro to Writing Arts (yay)
-Public Speaking

It's whateva. They all fill requirements that I need so there's not much I can do. At least there's no math in there...notice the anatomy class :)

I thought today was going to be awful ESPECIALLY when the internet didn't work at all from about 9:30 until around I got back from class at 1:30. Dear, how lost would I be without the I-net?? And then I got all panicky cause I was thinking that Spring Awakening stage seats were going to go on sale for today for May and it is OH SO CRUCIAL that I get some for May. 18th. It's a real long shot with all the people trying for them out there, but all I can do is hope.
And it was just 11:11...I take that as a sign

After this week, there is only 2 full weeks of school left.
That's Uhhmazing.

OKaY. I'm coming up brain-dead yet again.
Guess this means I resort to...

THE LIST
- The "We Dance EP" comes out tomorrow courtesy of Jason Mraz.
- I've got to pick a topic and write a thesis for my research paper for 3:15 tomorrow
- I'm re-taking the "computer test for dummies" unfortunately because I was too stoopid to pass it the first time, but I can deal with that because..hello, that's the story of my life.
- I got a 91 on my French test :(
- I really wish the Spring Awakening tix will go on sale when I'm sitting here at my computer or else I'll be devasted and probably won't end up going to Groff and Michele's last show.
- I also really wish this semester would end soon
- Who takes a shower that lasts 15 minutes at 10:00 in the morning when I really had to get in and take one plus a pee leak?? Oh. Then tell me who decides to walk in on me taking a shower and, how do I put this, decides to use the "crapper" while I'm in the shower. Mad awkwurd.

Satisfied? I am.
That about sums up everything I'm thinking.

So I was passing by these two kids today and I heard the one go,
"Man. It's not my fault I got hit by a car. I could've died the way I rolled under the tire."

And I was all wtf.
And then I kept walking.